What's YOUR Testimony?????

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Being a Willing Vessel- Right Here, Right Now

For the past year or so, I have felt somewhat trapped. I have struggled with my job as JUST a Stay-At-Home-Mom. I have felt envious of my hubby's adult conversations and 'human' contact. I have felt lonely., unsure of what more this job requires and counting down the days (5,870) until my youngest two are out of the house- on to college, apartment living or whatever, just out of my house! LOL

A few months back I sat down with a dear sister at church (a more mature sister-in age, spirit and motherhood) and shared with her my feelings. Which included wondering how God can use me since I am trapped in my home most days. I felt God had called me to ministry, why I am just a SAHM? What is next for me and when?

She shared with me something and I haven't forgotten it. She said "Verlina, you ARE in ministry~ Full Time Children's Ministry. Is there a better place to be right now than pouring into your kids, directing their eyes to Christ and nurturing them to be solid, born-again, on-fire people of God?"

I cried. How could I over look the awesome privilege that God has given me to be on the front lines of battle for my kids and be able to pour into them, teach them, train them in His ways.


I can't say that every moment of everyday I am totally okay with my feeling. I still have my 'poor-me pity party' (forgive me for not sending out invitations!) but I have an understanding now like I never truly did before:

God has me in just the right place for just the right time.

Maybe at some point in life God will call me away from home to an outside job. Maybe the day will come when God has us send the kids to school and stop with the homeschooling (and honestly, my heart goes both ways sometime- I pray to stay, I pray to go. I pray to be home, I pray to work a 'real' -as some would say- job) but for now, I can truly say that I am content with where God has me and I will do my best to be a willing vessel He can use.

Lord, I can only offer what I have, though it be little, it is yours. You took the small lunch of a young boy who offered in willingly and fed a crowd of hungry people, I trust that you can use my small offering to touch those whom you have placed before me- My Children. Lord help me to be the best I can for them, for you and for their dad. I am willing to work with all my heart, serving right where you have me, for You. Thank you for the opportunity I so often took for granted. thank you for allowing me to be a home educator and a mother to my kids 24/7. I am not just a SAHM, I am a blessed women in Full Time Children's Ministry!
In Jesus Name, Amen

I encourage you to ask God confirm where He wants you at this point in life,
and then be a willing vessel that He can use.