What's YOUR Testimony?????

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

SAHM or Full Time MInistry?

I have recently been a little discouraged. (Yes, all of us go through it!)

I have been a SAHM since my first born came home. I did a little part-time work through Christmas season, but other than that, I have been blessed to be home with them to raise them the way God has lead my hubby and I to do so.
Well, recently I have been questioning God with why I am home!?! Why I am homeschooling my kids? Why am I stuck in the house, for days in a row, with 5 kids and no vehicle to go anywhere? What difference am I making? Am I making a difference? What differences should I be making? Am I doing all this right? Is this what You have for me to do? I thought you called me into full time ministry... when do I start?

Well, I have had a heavy heart recently... all this questions and thoughts weighing me down. I've complained to God, sometimes I found myself complaining out loud. I've questioned God, again, out loud. I've even given God my 'What-I-Want-To-Be-When-I-Grow-Up' list that I have written, re-written and re-written again for many years. (I keep changing my mind!)

I had a talk last night with an wiser, more mature Christian mom, who has been there, done that and has her lists of 'I Did This Good' and 'I Would Change This'. I explained my feelings to her and the Holy Spirit totally spoke through her last night.

Something she said but didn't say was this: 'You are not JUST a SAHM- You are in full time Children's Ministry.'

She didn't say it in those words, but that is what the Holy Spirit quickened in my heart.

And it is SO true!

As SAHMs, we are not JUST an order-to-cook chef, a housekeeper, a chauffeur, a nurse, a teacher, a referee, a coach, a librarian, a personal secretary, a tailor, a pet-keeper, a on-call mom, a instruction manual reader, a counselor, a dietitian and a 'encourager'. We are in Full Time Childern's Ministry. We teach Bible Lessons. We lead our childern in prayer (how many times a day?). We read them scripture, explain to them what it means. We compare God to their daddy and open there eyes to see God in a new light.

The food, the clothing, the teaching of school subjects is all important... but God has shown me that teaching my kids His Word is just as important. Being an example to my kids of God's love, grace, mercy and forgiveness is important in my kids learning and being open to learning about God.

If I am always yelling (which I do have my days!) then how can my kids be willing to learn about a God that I say is patient and gives us patience? If I am always tired (which I have my days) then how can my kids be willing to learn about a God that I say is strong and gives us strength to face each day?

SO... I need to make sure as a mom that I am in Gods presence allowing Him to give me patience, to strenthen me to face my day (whatever it may hold). I need to be in God's word recieving His grace and understanding so that I can effectively share it with my kids.

I will admit- I haven't been in God's Word lately. I haven't taken time out of my day to stop my Martha chores and spent time at Jesus' fett with a Mary Heart.

I know I need to. And I am going to start- RIGHT NOW!

A Praying Mom